Even I, a self-proclaimed lady of leisure, have trouble remembering to take it easy sometimes. The notion that work makes you a good person, and therefore not working makes you a bad person, is so ingrained in me. I am still plagued with thoughts of "What have I done today? What have I accomplished today?" I get sucked in by the critics in my brain that tell me I am lazy, that I haven't done enough each day, you know the stuff.
I've been trying to fit in some "being" time each day, trying to allow some time to just check in with myself and be present. Yesterday, it was so beautiful outside. I had been putting off making this excel spreadhseet for a possible vendor for 2 days. I decided I would just start it, just do a little bit. That's a problem I struggle with, getting things started. I make things into huge insurmountable tasks and then I'm terrified to even begin. So I got the music cranking, started it, and ended up finishing it before I knew it! Then I realized I haven't really been practicing what I preach, I hadn't been doing anything that brought me enjoyment.
I picked up my little folding beach chair and headed out to East River Park, a little gem of a park that has a spectacular view of the majestic City. I bought a good book - The Day I Ate Whatever I Wanted by Elizabeth Berg - and made myself comfortable. I took breaks from reading to just look at the City. It looks small and quiet from across the water. It felt good to be outside it, instead of trapped on the island in an office or fighting my way through the 34th Street area. I could admire it from afar. I also looked at the clouds alot. There was a pattern in them that reminded me of the leather used on my beloved handbag. It is really wrinkley and textural. It's skin, OK, what do you want. It reminds me of a rhinoceros's hide, and that's what the clouds looked like yesterday at East River Park. After about an hour and 1/2, I headed home and I felt much better about life.
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